Back in March, Holy Spirit gave me a vision of a stormy cove, battering its waves against an unsteady boat. As the vision clarified, I found myself within the boat looking out into the storm. Those eyes! I saw the eyes of Jesus in the distance peacefully beckoning me. Despite the chaos, I had peace as I walked all the way to Christ, not once losing my gaze.
And He walked towards me also!
As the vision faded away, I asked Holy Spirit, "Why do you speak this to me?" My life had no storms in it at the time, so none of this seemed to fit. "Pay attention to this vision and prepare yourself. A storm is coming."
While looking at the water of a lake two months later in May, I asked Holy Spirit for a word. He told me, "Notice the water."
"What about the water?"
"It's water."
(Duh) "...And??"
"Water did not hold Peter up. Peter did not hold Peter up...I held Peter up."
Wow. Holy Spirit showed me that because of Peter's faith, he walked upon the foundation of Christ--fully supported by God in the midst of the storm--a firm foundation.
"But what about when Peter fell?" I had to ask.
"Still, I picked him up."
Even when Peter lost his peace and faith in the word and foundation of Jesus, God reached out His hand and picked him up.
Recently, God has commissioned me to raise up a culture of prayer in Southeast Texas by raising up Prayer Rooms in every place. This calling has challenged me tremendously, but I cannot doubt His call. He has confirmed it over and over again.
One of the scriptural promises and references that He gave me to work from comes from the story of Nehemiah. I believe that the vision He has given me currently only correlates with chapters 1-4 of Nehemiah, but soon, the vision will extend to the whole story.
In chapters 1-4, Nehemiah becomes burdened with the broken down condition of Jerusalem. While the temple has remained standing, the walls have completely broken down to ruble. God gave me this same burden for Southeast Texas. While the churches and congregations still remain, the wall has broken down. We have not centered our ministries around our pursuit of God. We have not maintained watchmen on the wall to unite us and protect us from attack. We have not sought after the face of God before we seek after the approval of man. Our ministries have lacked and fallen because the people have not prayed.
And like the children of Israel, without a wall, who wants to dwell in the city? The Church has become a place of pain, attack, wrath and dissension instead of peace, love, unity and power.
So Nehemiah repents--for his sins and the sins of the people collectively.
From God's divine grace and provision, King Artaxerxes agrees to support the rebuilding of Jerusalem. Here's the kicker for me. I feel called to this full-time, but the storm comes in this moment of trust in God's provision. Nehemiah felt the fear also. The Word says that, in the presence of King Artaxerxes, Nehemiah "was very much afraid" (Neh. 2:2). However, when the king questioned Nehemiah, Nehemiah "prayed to the God of heaven," recording further in the chapter, "the king granted [provisions] to me because the good hand of my God was on me" (Neh. 2:4, 8).
During the day, I had learned to strengthen myself in the Lord. I could keep my gaze on Jesus in the midst of the storm and walk out the days in trust in His calling and provision. When night approached, a different war seemed to rage within me. Because I am still working through the details of this vision with Holy Spirit, including the legal funnel that I will send support through, I still had doubts. And so, I did not sleep well through the nights, but would awake to God's lovingkindnesses and again strengthen myself in Him.
Holy Spirit reminded me, nevertheless, about Jesus's level of peace. In the midst of a storm one evening while sailing to the other side of a body of water, the disciples completely flipped out. They thought they would surely parish. But they forgot of the power and provision of God, even the God who laid below them in the bottom of the boat, fast asleep!
In the midst of the storm, Jesus had the peace to sleep soundly. I did not have this level of peace. "Holy Spirit, help me to find this level of peace," I cried. And the Lord answered me.
Last night, joining with a missions project at my home church for junior high students, the youth pastor and one of my spiritual guides spoke on this same story of Jesus sleeping in the bottom of the boat.
They pointed out that Jesus had instructed the disciples to sail to the other side. Why would God not provide the way? Surely God knew the storm ahead of them before He called them.
I teared up heavily. Surely the same God who called the disciples to cross to the other side, the One who knew the approaching storm, Who slept through the chaos of it all and Who hushed the wind and the waves, surely He knew what He had called me to and knew the approaching storm and would give me peace, perfect peace.
Matter of fact, before I left for the time of worship, Jesus spoke to my heart those exact words: "Peace, be still!" And, as I mentioned above, He warned me of the coming storm. He made His calling to me clear, knew the approaching storm, and would supply peace in the midst of it.
So, I return to the story of Nehemiah and I find this:
But when Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite official, and Geshem the Arab heard it, they mocked us and despised us and said, "What is this thing you are doing? Are you rebelling against the king?" -Nehemiah 2:19
I had heard the same things. The enemy has come strongly against me whispering these lies: "What point is this 'Prayer Room' work? Are you rebelling against getting a 'real' job. You lazy pig!"
But Nehemiah, and now myself, reply this to the enemy:
So I answered them and said to them, "The God of heaven will give us success; therefore we His servants will arise and build, but you have no portion, right or memorial in Jerusalem." -Nehemiah 2:20
God has given His blessing, decree and confirmation. He will give us success. Therefore, I will obey, move forward, and build! And to the enemy, you filthy dog, you have NO inheritance in this work!
Later on in chapter 4, the same people come back to attack Nehemiah. This time they plot a secret military invasion. Nehemiah writes, "But we prayed to our God, and because of them we set up a guard against them day and night" (Neh. 4:9).
The people still feared, but Nehemiah makes a stand:
When I saw their fear, I rose and spoke to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people: "Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses." -Nehemiah 4:14
Therefore, upon the Lord's decree, I will press in to Him, continue building, station "men in the lowest parts of the space behind the wall, the exposed places," and remember the Lord who is great and awesome. I will fight for this region, for my brothers and sisters, my future children, my soon-to-be-wife, the House of Prayer that God is building. I will set watchmen on the wall.
And you know what? I slept deeply last night, full of peace and joy. And I awoke in the presence of the Lord.
He will provide my needs. He will provide your needs. He will fight for us and build our houses.
"'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the LORD of hosts. 'What are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you will become a plain; and he will bring forth the top stone with shouts of "Grace, grace to it!"'" -Zechariah 4:6-7